Oh, why, hello there dear reader. You'll have to pardon the over powering smell of sweaty Banana Boat products, Mai Tai straws (now with slightly more chewed tips) and sand in my no-go regions for I had to take a vacation to sunny Omaha (it's as far as my miles could take me, and yes, the beef is lovely this time of year) after the previous week's Kickballing, the depression would've been too crushing, much like the smell of D bags and their over-application of Axe Body Spray.
To cope, I had originally opted for meth, but my tooth doctor recommended I avoid it this time as per my last use.. I wasn't what society would call "dentally friendly" nor a "bather".
Last Thursday's game brought us a foe known as, Dick Head McGees. Oh, wait, my recently acquired reading abilities is telling me I've read that wrong (and I was told Hukd on Fonics wasnut werth mi tym, ha! I've showed you, mom), they're actually titled, Sloppy Tits n' Micro Balls. Yep, that's it.
Being that our moral standing is superior (along with our team captains' co-awesomenesses) we went to kick first. Three up.. three down. That's ok, we thought, lull them into a false sense of security, then we'll spring our trap! Turns out, we forgot to build the trap. Oh, details, you've vexed us yet again.
They were up and scored runs, mostly due to aggressive base running and I believe... steroids. I mean that one lady's beard was intense. They scored 3.
Next inning.. Andrew "I'm too legit to quit" kicked a single. Hooray, redemption! Let the rally begin! Well, much like my aspirations to be a male model, it quickly died as we couldn't get anything else.
Now they're up. A dude running from third was coming home. A newbie.. Alexander "I can bench 200 pounds.. with my eyes" threw him out perfectly as he ran. They did manage to score a couple, but they had bases loaded, ball kicked to our pitcher Erik "Not the Bike Man, I swear Ryan if you say that name in a blog I will ruin your career as a amateur male model" who got a solid, inning ending, out at home.
We came up to kick, and in true Twin's fashion circa 2013, 3 up and 3 out again. But, at least they repeated it themselves with some good fielding on our part.
We were down 6 to nothing. Our last up. Paul "To the Rescue!" got on 1st with a solid kick. Laura "real life Mad Max impersonator" also got on base. Holy hell it looked like a real life rally! Chad comes up and does what Chad does best.. no not successfully out Kobayashi even Mr. Kobayashi, no he booted one deep to score Paul. We got a point! It's a Christmas miracle! Like the time I got laid and didn't have to pay $20 nor need various ointments afterwards! Dreams do come true.
But, we showed up to Flip Cup but Sloppy Tits n Micro Balls couldn't bother, so we dominated with a score of 1 million to 3 (we gave them some pity points, hey, when all you have is Kickball like they do, they need something).
Until next game, pitches!