Oct 25, 2013

Kick This Week 7

And here we are dear reader(s)*  (I'm very hopeful that the plural is accurate, what can I say, I'm a dreamer of plurals), another tale sits awaiting to unfold before you.  A story that was nearly never meant to be told.  How so? ...you ask without quotation marks.  Well, I'm about to tell you, so in the fine words of Kramer or a Cowboy.. let's giddy up.

This tale begins as one of woe.  (If you are unfamiliar with this term, think ho, but sadder and slightly less glitter.)  For I, this sacred and averagely talented author, nearly did not make the game due to a headache in my head.  It hurt, but, I thought.. "How could the team survive without my cheerleading abilities?"  (read: I wanted to drink their free beer.)  So, I arrived and found troubling news.  No, not that that Nicholas Cage has a new movie coming out, but rather we, Kick This, were a team member short. 

I was asked to play, I said I cannot.  They begged and I said I dare not.  Then, the womens of the team, with bosoms heaving, stated that without my presense, all would be lost.  Who am I to turn down desperate bosom heaving?  I mean, the last time a bosom was presented I paid $20 and later, $15 for the ointment co-pay at my local CVS. (Get your CVS card.. Today!)

The kicking began in earnest.  This time there was no rain.  And they said that sacrificing homeless people to the Rain God wouldn't work, what fools!  We did well at the foots.  The biggest play came with Henry "Ballin", popped one out to right, it fell between two defenders.  Scoring Nick and himself at a well run Home Run.  Gieger also scored after his double and Matt kicking one out for a RKI.  We held them to just one run with adept fielding.  Ian AKA "Hop n' Catch" at right made some timely catches.  Gieger fielded many a bunts.  I, eagerly got people out at 2nd.  Henry soild as ever at center.

Hillary took over at first and after dipping her hands in honey, gripped onto the tossed balls as if they were other kinds of balls.  That's right, Tom's Schwetty Balls, made from the original Schwetty family recipe, she loves em.  We emerged from the semi-wintery night victorious, 4-1.  Spirits were high (as were the bosoms, but I digress) and we left for the bar were things and stuff happened. 

The End.

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