Oct 5, 2013

Uncontrollable Runs Week 3

“What team are you guys? Oh, the Uncontrollable Runs? We remember you guys...”

Different game, different season, same result.

Week 3 is in the books, and the Runs are back at it. This time taking on alleged title contender, TILF. While the scouting report on TILF was limited (solely to their team name), they did live up to expectations, as the beat down score would indicate.  The Uncontrollable Runs entered the game with weak legs after a late game from the week before left them with little recovery time. As the game was starting, players were bowing up for made up excuses such as volleyball playoffs and traffic. In fact, the team was so desperate, us reporters and fans alike in the stands could hear their lead off pitcher, Tom, frantically calling out to see if they could roster a full squad. This must have thrown him off his game and what started his list of errors on the night.  Tom (4.5 ERA) has been off to a rough start this season. Whether it is from the shortened field, his off-season Tommy John's surgery, or his dramatically increased chest and biceps (yes, he is single), the Munter will need to find some answers as he continues to fight for a playoff roster spot.

Now the Munter can not be the only one thrown under the bus for the early season struggles.  This season has brought on a lot of new faces for the Runs, meaning there will be a learning curve needed as players try to understand the odd (read: insane) level of commitment and competitiveness this team has become famous for.  After the playoff collapse this reporter is still trying to recover from in June, many veterans said their hearts couldn’t bear going through that level of pain again, and felt retiring from the sport they so loved was their only option. It is with a heavy heart we said farewell to Sean.  But many times it takes fresh faces to turn around a team looking to capture it’s 2nd title in 3 seasons, so it is with great pleasure that we added new winners to the roster, and revert from the Bunt Pirates back to our original team name.  The additions include: Grant, Joe, Nikhil, Baklas, Padilla, Megan and Nicole.

These new arrivals have helped bolster a batting order desperate for change, and we were able to sit down with Grant after the game to find out about his commitment: “It has always been my dream to join such an established team with a rich history of success and a proven track record. I will always be at every game 100% prepared to give it my all. I wouldn’t miss a game, no matter what.”

Grant continues to rehab from his concussion suffered last Thursday night en route to the sponsor bar and is questionable for this week’s matchup.

The two female additions, Megan and Nicole, are proving to be strong assets as they try out different positions and batting orders for the Runs. In just her 2nd game, Megan keenly rounded 3rd on a broken play in outfield to score the go ahead run, crossing the plate as tears of joy streamed down her face. Megan was too emotional for an interview after the game.

One of the bright spots of Thursday nights nationally televised broadcast was the return of the Player Of The Game award, which came back with a bang!  This week’s unanimous winner was Denny’s Grand Slam (Hield), who blasted a 3 run shot to open up the scoring for the Runs.  The fans went wild with envy as they watched Left Field Hield enjoy the incredibly delicious, yet surprisingly affordable 2Gingers™Irish Whiskey! Hield couldn’t be more ecstatic about the win: “I mean, wow! I’m only used to getting one shot of (2 Gingers™), so getting what looked like a flask was the greatest part of the season so far. 2 Gingers is simply the best!”

With the final whistle blowing, and the stadium lights being turned down, the Uncontrollable Runs were the last to leave the field. This week again, even after the win, players were listening attentively to their coach, begging for tips of improvement. It is these extra things, along with the 6am morning practices, that will continue to push this team to greatness. Next up, the undefeated Honey Badgers. This will be a true test at the mid point of the season.

Of note: the Uncontrollable Runs suck at flip cup. There, I said it. Joe was drafted onto the roster solely for his flip cup skills, so if he doesn’t turn it around soon, he might be traded for one of the players on the Thursday Night dart league. At least those players have the attitude the Runs are looking for.

The 2012 Uncontrollable Runs (because I don't have a picture from this season yet...)

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