Wheel Week is a legendary kickball tradition seen once a season in the WAKA Minneapolis League. During this fantastic week, members from TheRapists of America (F.K.A. Hold My Beer and Call Me Shirley, Stage Five Clingers, Prestige Worldwide, .... etc.) challenge our opponents to kicking obstacles and boozey fun.
We all thought wheel week was lost with the alcohol-smack-down at Bryn Mawr this year. After a few tears, and many beers, a new idea was formed. On this historic day of June 12, Kick This and TheRapists of America began a kickball game like no kickball game before it. Behold, this year’s pseudo-wheel!
In the first inning, we learned who the true kickball vets were. The challenge was to run the bases in reverse order (3rd to 2nd to 1st before going home). After a great kick (well, it was foul, but that’s irrelevant) Monica took off running to the normal 1st base. We set her straight for when she kicked it fair.
During the second inning, costumes were worn by all kickers. Favorites for both teams seemed to be Super Girl and the Christmas themed get-up. Only brave Trevor donned the Referee dress. Drew T., dressed as jolly ol’ St. Nick, scored our one and only run during this entertaining inning.
When it came to the third inning, kickers had to do a few bat spins (we reduced it down from 10) before attempting to kick the ball. Then they had to skip to the bases instead of running. The fielding team also had skip to make all plays. Generally speaking, everyone forgot this rule and started to run. It was a good try. We also learned that guys are really not good at skipping. Who knew.
The fourth inning was GIANT BALL. League coordinate Jackie had won this Dave and Busters ball at her birthday this year, and graciously lent it to our teams for the game (by graciously, I mean that she forgot about it and we had to break into her garage to collect it). In this inning, we learned that Kick This had the GIANT BALL strategy under foot, whereas TheRapists couldn’t quite get their arms around it (puns fully intended). Kick This took the lead by scoring three runs in this inning.
During the fifth inning, kickers had to collect a Capri Sun at 1st base and chug it before they could leave for 2nd. Lessons learned are as follows: (1) Capri Suns do not actually taste as good as adults as they did in our childhoods; (2) the straws used to puncture the pouches are still tricky bastards; and (3) avoiding the straw and squeezing directly into your mouth is messy (ahem, A.J). We also learned that Drew T. does not listen to the sidelines and tried to score a home run instead of drinking his Capri Sun on 1st base.
We had some extra time after all of these activities, and decided to play one final inning where we combined inning four (GIANT KICKBALL) with inning five (Capri Sun). Kick This used this as an opportunity to score another run, whereas TheRapists used it as a chance to build up a sugar high from all the Capri Sun. Final score was 4-1.
While we may have lost, we rocked the America theme of the week. It was a bit made for us, after all.
GMOT Editor Note:
NOTE: A week late, but a good read in lieu of last week's cancellation ... f*cking rain..